My Bath Bomb Lied to Me! Why buying that new face mask won’t make you feel better
By: Kristina Lesley
In full disclosure, if you had walked into my home two years ago, you would have been surrounded by the potent smells of eucalyptus and lavender wafting from every room of my tranquil, serene residential environment. I spent time making sure that I had refills on hand and additional candles to replace the ones that were constantly lit. My house smelled lovely and the ambiance from the flickering flames was nice, so why the heck was I still stressed and anxious?! The candle even said on the label that it was for “Stress relief.”
Like many others, I had fallen prey to the commodification of self-care. I was looking for the quick fix so I could get on with the things I needed to do. It was after years of purchasing various items that were marketed and labeled to make me believe I was engaging in best practices for my well-being, that I began to realize that self-care is much more than a new candle, a new face mask, relaxing bath bomb and other trinkets and purchases that line the pockets of big industry. I wasn’t going to buy my way out of tension, anxiety, and stress. What was I going to do? We treat self-care like a consumer transaction because changing our habits is hard, but buying a bath bomb is easy. True self-care isn't a product; it's a practice.
What is self-care?
The definition of self-care is varied and complicated as the definition is as unique as the individual defining it. In short, self-care means making lasting changes, engaging in beneficial habits, and being our own biggest advocate so we can show up every day. This can include embracing, learning, and implementing coping skills that work for us so we can use them in the moment and engrain them in our daily activities and not hold it all in and hope that we have enough time at the end of the week for a spa day. True self-care is a journey of self-discovery and showing yourself compassion when things are not going well. Some things will work for you and some will not, but in this experience you have learned a bit about yourself. Sometimes it is easier to break things down to find a place to start.
Let’s break self-care down to 5 main categories.
Physical Self-Care
Paying attention to what your body is telling you it needs.
Resting/Sleeping without the guilt or having to “earn” it
Eating nutritious foods
Staying active
Stopping when your body says it’s time
Emotional Self-Care
Engaging with your feelings and emotions in a healthy way
Setting boundaries
Saying “no”
Allowing yourself to feel all your feelings
Mental Self-Care
Keeping your mind sharp while also protecting it from overload
Unplugging for a while
Learning something new
Giving your energy to one task at a time
Social Self-Care
Taking the time to nurture relationships and make meaningful connections
Deciding who is worthy of your time and energy
Seek deeper connections
Ask for help when needed
Spiritual Self-Care
Connecting with something bigger than yourself (not necessarily religious)
Focusing on and living by your values
Meditation/prayer
Practicing gratitude
